Learning To Fly
by Olivia Y
Summary: When walking this road is taking too long, your only choice is to learn to fly. (HanaRu, RuHana)
1. Prologue

**Learning to Fly**

****

**PROLOGUE**

It was growing dark outside.

As he paused in his actions to catch a glance out the gym window, Rukawa Kaede noticed with slight alarm that dusk has long since come and gone. With a sigh he turned his attention back to the basketball hoop. 

_Just ten more minutes…he decided… __ten more minutes and I'll head home…_

He was already pushing himself too hard, and he was aware of it. Sure, it's nothing out of the ordinary for him to stay behind in the court even when the after-school practice sessions were over, just to go that little bit further than anyone else; but today he had stayed much longer than anticipated.

_I'm just so out of form! He thought with frustration as another shot failed to make it into the hoop. _Why did I have get sick? And how the heck did I manage to catch a cold in this raging heat?!__

Having been forced by his teammates to take the bench and just _rest_ for every practice session for the past two weeks, Rukawa was feeling more than just a little rusty. Practicing simple techniques and the basics by himself was nowhere near as satisfying as breaking in an all-out sweat in some vigorous training.

His teeth clenched as he remembered the day team captain Akagi Takenori sent him off the court to rest.

_"Bwahahahah!__ Rukawa! You're sick? The fox-boy is actually sick?! Ahahaha! Hey you know what they say:  only idiots can catch colds in the middle of summer! Who's the do'aho now?!"_

_That loud-mouthed, self-righteous fool! Rukawa's hands tightened around the basketball as he tried to shake the voice out of his head. It was easier said than done. Lately it seems like that heck-of-an-irritating voice has been stuck his head like some kind of annoying jingle. _

He took a deep breath, and tried another shot, determined to get at least this one last one in. But just as the ball was leaving the tip of his fingers, his vision suddenly went blurry for a moment, when it cleared a second later, he had already misfired and a series of dull clangings sounded as the ball hit the rim of the basket and then bounced a few times along the wooden floor.

"Ch'…" He mutters, rubbing his eyes with one hand "'the hell was that?"

_Probably am pushing myself too hard for now…_

He had determination for sure, but he was not blindly persistent. 

_I'll come back early tomorrow, when I'm more refreshed…but now…_

As he headed towards the exist, he distinctly felt fatigue come on rapidly. He was suddenly _so tired._

 _Just…have to…get some rest…_

Rubbing his eyes again in an attempt to keep them open, he locked the doors of the gym, and staggered slowly to where his bike was chained up.

                              *                                  *                                  *

"Dammit!" 

Sakuragi Hanamichi cursed under his breath as he took a glance out of the taxi window, with the rate at which the traffic was lined up, it could take forever to get out of this jamb.

Gritting his teeth and biting back the urge to open the window and scream offences to the world, he again regretted the decision to take a taxi.

_Isn't this meant to be faster than bike and tram? He thought, irritated. _Had I known this was gonna happen I may as well have crawled there.__

Right before school had ended that day, Akagi Haruko had approached Hanamichi to invite him, Youhei and the rest of the gundan to the summer festival at the local shrine, he obviously agreed with no second thoughts. Unfortunately, having been drilled during after-school basketball practice, he had fallen asleep after getting home, and only woke with minutes to spare.

And he figured four wheels would be faster than two. Expensive, yes, but he can't be late for Haruko!

 "Oi!" He roared at the driver "Can't you find some way around this?!"

"So…sorry sir!" the poor man quivered "I'm doing the best I can!"

_Damn this! He cursed again. They were barely ten meters from the end of his lane._

"Take a left turn there!" He pointed and demanded.

"But…"

"Don't argue with me! I know there's a way around this through there!"

_…Or at least I'll let my ingenuity and natural instincts figure a way out…_

Unable to refuse the menacing redhead, the driver did as he was told.

After so many twists and rotations and roundabouts and U-turns that Hanamichi's temper was getting even hotter than it had been when they were still on the main road, they finally spotted the exist that led to where he was aiming for.

"Yo---sh!" He crowed, as his fury melted into triumph "See? I told you the genius would find a way!"

The driver chose to keep his silence. 

"Step on it old man!" Hanamichi yelled as they neared the turn "I'm in a hurry! Haven't you slowed me down enough already?!"

With a sigh, the driver checked for clearance, and pumped on the accelerator.

_What the…?!_

Suddenly Hanamichi felt as if everything was happening in slow motion. 

The car had been speeding up, and then everything around him seemed to stop moving. Everything, but him. He saw the windscreen moving towards him, and only then did it cross his mind that in his haste, he had neglected his seatbelt.

He threw his arms up in front of his face to prepare for the blow. Why did they stop so suddenly? They were going fine! He didn't want to be sitting here like this! Why the heck did they have to…

Something was hurting. He couldn't tell what it was, but he felt pain surge through his body as if he was been electrocuted.

And then, he felt nothing more.

                              *                                  *                                  *

_Where the heck am I now?_

"Sir? Are you alright? Sir?"

Hanamichi could make out a voice speaking to him. At first it sounded far away, but then it kept getting closer and louder until his eardrums were echoing.

Blinking a few times, he finally managed to open his eyes.

He was lying down somewhere. Somewhere hard. And his head felt as if it would split open it was aching so much.

 "Sir?" 

He turned his head slightly to the source of the voice, and found a nurse crouching beside him, first-aid kit in hand.

"Ah…" He grumbled as he sat up slowly, reaching up and gingerly touched his forehead. 

_Bandages?___

_Oh…right…_

Vaguely he remembered…that sudden braking, as if they hit something.

"What happened?" He asked the nurse, glancing around to see if he could figure out what was going on.

"The taxi you were riding in had a run-in, and it appeared it had a faulty seat belt"

_Faulty?__ I didn't even try putting it on!_

"Oh…" He murmured, and suddenly remembering where he was meant to be headed, he asked "What time is it?"

Somewhat surprised, she replied "Almost Eight-thirty"

_What? Only eight-thirty? I only left home at about _quarter past eight__! Maybe I can still make it then!__

"Thank you" He replied quickly, and attempted to stand up.

"Wait…!" She tried to protest, but any effort to stop Hanamichi from doing what he wanted is always in vain.

_Hmm…doesn't seem to be all that serious…He thought as he made his way through the emergency crews…_I'm pretty much okay, and there's that driver talking to the police over there…hey, does this mean I don't have to pay the fare?__

He shrugged to himself, and then noticed something odd.

_Wait…why are there so many people here? It wasn't that bad right? What did we hit anyway…and this whole area looks like it's blocked…_

His thoughts came to a sudden halt as he reached the spot where the taxi was parked. An ambulance was standing at ready nearby.

_Oh…my…God…_

His eyes widened, and his breath caught in his throat. 

The front of the car, the windscreen, the hood…and a large patch of ground in front… were completely covered in blood. More blood than Hanamichi ever imagined could come from one person.

_Did we kill somebody?! Oh God…please tell me we didn't kill anyone!_

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed an object lying only a few feet away.

It was a bicycle. Battered, bent and crushed into distortion.

But it could still be recognized.

And it was all too familiar.

_No…!_

He was screaming, but he couldn't hear himself making any sound. What was wrong with his voice? 

_No! It can't be like this! Nothing can be this__ much of a coincidence! Not this! It can't be! It can't! It can't! It can't!!!_

Pushing aside the few emergency crew members trying to stop him, he rushed towards the beat-up bike. Trying to find proof, _any _kind of proof, that the thought which just came in to his mind was wrong.

_No, it can't be! There must be thousands of people with this bike in just all of Kanagawa! It can't be that coincidental! It's just a very similar bike that's all! And I'll prove it! I'll prove that…_

_Ha! See? Here! Here's the personalization tag! I found it! And I can show that it's a total stranger who has this bike! See? Look! Look at it! It says…_

Rukawa. K.

_Fuck…_

It felt as if he was suffocating, his hands shook violently as he held onto the metal tag. Wide eyes bore into the small plaque as if he believed staring at it hard enough could change the engravings on it.

_No…no! I must be seeing things! It's just my head…my head still hurts! I must be delusional! No! Come on! This doesn't belong to him, it's just a mistake! It must be a mistake! No...there must be other people of this name! There must be! It can't be like this!_

Someone was tapping him on his shoulder, telling him to get away from there and get into the ambulance with them. When he didn't respond, the light tapping turned to a forceful grip.

"Don't touch me!" He exploded, shaking away whoever it was violently. He pushed aside those blocking the way between him and the ambulance. He had to prove it wasn't true.

A stretcher was just being loaded as he finally fought through. The site that met his eyes crushed all hope he had been holding up till then.

The dark hair that was now covered with blood. The pale skin, also covered with blood. White shirt, black shorts…all drenched with that horrible, frightening color.

_No…No!! This is not happening! How can it be like this all of a sudden! No! I'm on my way to…to…oh God…where the hell was I going?! What is happening to me? My head…wait, that's it! I'm having a nightmare, that's why this is all happening! But it hurts so bad! Why am I not waking up? I have to wake up! This cannot be real! This can't be happening! This…_

He stood gasping as the stretcher disappeared into the back of that ambulance. His head hurt. His chest hurt…every part of him was hurting.

As the last of his senses started to leave him, he screamed in a broken, strangled, choking voice, that name he had called out so many times before, but was so frightened of having to admit to this time, right there:

_No…_

"Rukawa!"


	2. While you were sleeping: Part one

**CHAPTER ONE **

"Kogure…" Akagi, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside his coffee-table, slowly addressed his teammate who sat across from him. Anyone who knows Akagi could tell from that tone that his patience was been pushed beyond breaking point.

"Yes?" Kogure replied anxiously.

"Tell me again, why you had to drag that thing into my house with you?" Akagi pointed to the spot beside where Kogure sat, where a tall, blue-haired figure was happily snoring away, his head rested comfortably in Kogure's lap.

"Ah…ha…ha…" Kogure laughed nervously "come on, give him a break, this afternoon was pretty tough!"

"Hmph…" Akagi grunted "every afternoon's tough with that obnoxious money around," meaning Sakuragi, naturally "if only we could take away some of that energy and store it into Mitsui, then maybe we can finally restore the balance of nature…"

Kogure smiled and shrugged "Well…having a lot of energy is no setback, we should be thankful"

"Heh…" Akagi shook his head, then turned his attention back to his original complaint "But really, if all he wanted to do was just sleep, he could've gone home instead of following us here! We're meant to be concentrating! Doesn't he know we have finals soon? Doesn't he _have_ a bed at home?!"

"Ah---Akagi…!"

Before Kogure had time to stop him, Akagi has already leaning over the coffee-table, bellowing at full force:

"Get up this instant! Mitsui Hisashi!!"

"Wah!" The sleeping boy sprinted up as if he had been whipped. "Yes! Captain!"

"What the heck do you think you're doing sleeping in my house?! Go home already if you're so tired!!"

 "I was just taking a short nap! What's the big deal?!"

"A _short_ nap!? What are you…"

An all-out fight could've begun here, were it not for the phone that started to ring.

"Grr…" Akagi growled, eyeing the other two as he headed for the phone "I'll deal with you in a minute!"

"Whew!" Mitsui whispered to Kogure as he sat back down "close one!"

"You really that tired?" the other boy whispered back, a little worried.

"Nah, it's alright…just had a tough time drilling our self-proclaimed genius that's all…" Mitsui closed his eyes again while he spoke.

A few minutes later, Akagi returned, looking angry and a little confused.

"Everything all right?" Kogure inquired quickly.

 "I'm not sure…that was Haruko on the phone" Akagi replied "She's with a bunch of friends at that festival, and apparently she invited Sakuragi along too, but he hasn't turned up and she was wondering if I was holding him prisoner…" he frowned "…wonder where she'd get an idea like that?"

Kogure stifled a laugh.

"Ugh, whatever…he'd just better have a good explanation of this tomorrow and…oi!" He finally noticed that Mitsui was not even conscious "Mitsui! Get up or…"

Before he could finish, the phone rang again, and again he had no choice but to leave his threat half-delivered.

"Saved by the bell no. 2" Mitsui grumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

Kogure was about to reply, but they were both startled by Akagi's yells from the next room.

"What?! Sakuragi?! Where?! What the hell happened?! Slow down will you…?!"

The two of them exchanged a look, not sure what to make of it, but immediately feeling worried nonetheless.

A few minutes later, Akagi returned looking more than a little worked up.

"Hurry up and move it, we're going to the hospital"

Mitsui was on his feet in a second. "The hospital?! What happened? Is it Anzai-Sensei again!?"

"No, no" Akagi quickly shook his head "Not that at all. That was Sakuragi calling from the hospital"

"Is he alright?" Kogure had gotten up as well.

"I can't quite tell" Akagi replied hurriedly as grabbed his jacket and headed for the door "he was all upset and sounded very broken up, all I could catch was that he wants us to get down there quickly"

"Broken up?" Kogure murmured as he followed "I hope he hasn't gotten into a fight or something.

"If he was able to make a phone call at least you know he's okay, for now" Mitsui assured as he slammed the front door behind them "don't get too worked up yet".

With that, the three seniors made haste and headed in the direction of the hospital.

                              *                                  *                                  *

_My head is gonna explode!_

Sitting hunched over on a lonely hospital bench, with his head buried in his arms, that one thought ran through Hanamichi's head over and over again. He truly felt as if he was about to be ripped into two, the way he was aching all over.

After the nightmarish sight of Rukawa's mangled form upon the scene of the accident, he must've passed out again; because the next thing he knew, he was waking up in a hospital bed, bruised and bandaged.

The first thing that came to his mind was: _I have to find somebody!_

Somebody, just anybody…just so he didn't have to deal with this alone, just so he would have to face the fact that he....

_I killed Rukawa…_

He never knew he could feel this scared.

He had been alone when he had awoken, and no one was there to distract him from thinking the worst. His mind just kept relaying that blood-filled scene over and over again until the images started to blur together into a tangled, scarlet mess. The pain he felt all over confirmed with bitter certainty that he was not dreaming, not in the least; but for a long, long time, he couldn't even move – not because of the pain alone, but because he was too scared.

Too scared that as soon as he moved, someone would notice him, and come to him to deliver the news that Rukawa was dead.

He didn't want to know.

He didn't want to know that side of fear which he had never seen.

After what seemed like an eternity of just lying there, willing himself not to move in this surreal situation, he suddenly seemed to snap out of that self-induced hypotheses, and a name came to his mind – Akagi Takenori.

He couldn't understand why that was the first person he could think of, but he suddenly felt a lot more relieved to have finally thought of _some_one. Their captain, the team's pillar of support…surely he would be able to handle this situation somehow? 

Pushing those terrifying thoughts out of his mind as well as he could, he forced himself out of the bed and out of the room towards the nearest receptionist desk on that level, ignoring all protests from the nurses who tried to stop him.

When he had demanded to use the telephone, he had been calm enough, still keeping his composure, but as soon as the voice on the other end spoke, he lost it again.

Completely lost it.

He suddenly realized he had no idea what to say, he had no idea how to explain what was going on, the only thing he could muster was:

"I'm at the hospital, can you get here? I don't know what to do…"

Akagi had clearly being alarmed at the unstable tone of his voice, and had asked him an array of questions, none of which he heard. All he could manage to do was yell "I don't know! I don't know! Please get here! Help me! I don't know! I don't know!" over and over again until, without even knowing it, he was crying in hearty sobs into the speaker.

Somehow, he had managed to end that phone call, since then, he had retreated to this bench, in an unnoticed corner of the halls, and tried his best to hide himself from the world.

He had never been so scared.

He still hadn't dared to ask anyone of what became of Rukawa, though the urge to do so was now driving him to the brink of insanity. All he wanted, all that he needed, was for someone to tell him that Rukawa was fine, or at least going to be…that's all he was asking for…

But no one approached him, and he approached no one. Something in his subconscious rendered him helpless to do so…as long as he kept denying it, Rukawa was still alive…

Even if it was just a lie…

It was all he had to hold on to…

_My head's gonna explode…_

*                                  *                                  *

"Over there!" Kogure exclaimed as the three of them stepped out of the elevator, pointing in the direction to where a curled up, redheaded boy was sitting "He…looks alright…" Kogure added hesitantly.

Upon arrival at the hospital, Akagi, Mitsui and Kogure could only inquire about whether someone by Hanamichi's appearance had been admitted, for they knew no further information. Luckily, thanks to his distinctive appearance, the nurses were able to locate for them the room to which Hanamichi had been sent. What they didn't expect though, was to see him sitting in a corner like that, instead of being in the room they had being directed to.

"Sakuragi!" Akagi called out "Are you all right? What happened?"

The boy on the bench showed no sign of having heard.

"Oi!" Akagi tried again as they reached him "Can you hear me?" He reached out to grab his shoulder.

Upon contact, Hanamichi finally snapped out of his stupor, looking up, he suddenly reached out and gripped both Akagi and Kogure by the arm, and cried out:

"I killed Rukawa!"

The three seniors immediately stiffened, not believing what they had just heard.

"What…?" Kogure whispered, wide-eyed.

"I killed Rukawa!" He was suddenly so sure of it, Hanamichi could do nothing but blurt it out to anyone who would listen "I killed him! I killed Rukawa!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Mitsui demanded, sounding both angry and frightened "What in the world happened Sakuragi?!"

"I don't know!" Hanamichi's grip tightened "I don't know what happened! It just…it was all so…I don't know what happened! But…but…" He stuttered, almost as if he was about to cry "So much blood…there was so much blood! I killed Rukawa! I killed him!"

"Did you two get into a fight?" Akagi feared the worst "You didn't get into another gang-bash did you?" He didn't even want to think about what the consequences could be if that were true, it would've been far too tragic.

But Hanamichi wasn't even paying attention to his question, or if he was he didn't understand it, he just kept on speaking in broken, choked-up sentences anything that seemed to enter his mind.

"So much blood…I didn't want that to happen…it wasn't meant to happen…I didn't want to…I don't want him to die! I never wanted him to die! It wasn't suppose to …I don't know what happened…I killed Rukawa…no, no! He's not dead! He can't be dead! But…but there was so much…so much blood…I don't want him to die! I don't want him to die! He can't die! I don't want him to die!"

"Kogure!" Akagi commanded, seeing that Hanamichi was completely losing it "Go to the receptionist desk and ask what they know about Rukawa's condition" the way Hanamichi was rambling, there was no way they could get any information out of him, what bits and pieces he could pick up was chilling him to the bone…_Rukawa's dead…and Sakuragi's responsible for killing him?! How did things get like this…?!_

No, they had to find out exactly what happened before they're all driven to a frenzy.

 "Ah…" Kogure had grown completely pale by this point, shaking free of Hanamichi's grip with help from Mitsui, he hastily stumbled towards the desk.

                              *                                  *                                  *

_I killed Rukawa?_

_I couldn't have!_

_Then why am I saying it?_

_Why can't I stop myself from saying it?_

_What?_

_Who is this…?_

_Gori__…?_

_What is he saying?_

_I can't hear him…_

_I can't hear anything!_

_What?_

_I don't know what is going on, I don't know what happened!_

_Wait…no, I do remember what happened…_

_I killed Rukawa…_

_But that makes no sense!_

_It can't be true, because it makes no sense!_

_Where am I then?_

_This must be a dream…_

_That must be it…_

_It's all just a dream…_

_I must be asleep on the top-level of the school building again. Any moment now Rukawa's going to wake me up and call me a fool…and then I'll hit him…because he's not dead, he can't be that arrogant if he's dead…_

_But…___

_But I can't wake up…_

_Why aren't you waking me up?_

_Where are you Rukawa?!_

_Get out here!_

_When have you ever dismissed me like this?! Why aren't you responding?!_

_Where are you…?!_

_Rukawa…?_

_                              *                                  *                                  *_

"Is he…"

Mitsui and Akagi spoke at the same time when they saw Kogure returning, they each hand a hand on Sakuragi's shoulder, in case he started to go into a frenzy again; although right then Sakuragi wasn't doing much besides trembling and murmuring inaudible, broken phrases.

"They're still operating" Kogure replied as calmly as he could "It was an accident…with a taxi that Sakuragi was apparently taking…"

"Oh..."

"They said that Rukawa had somehow gone off course on his bike and…yeah…" Kogure's voice faded, the rest didn't need explanation.

 "But he's not…" Mitsui ventured cautiously "he's not dead right?"

"No! No!" Kogure quickly assured, shaking his head rapidly "He's not…but…it was a pretty serious accident and…" he didn't know how to finish.

"Should we…"Akagi began hesitantly "…should we contact his family?" he looked around.

"Do you even know _how_ to contact of his family?" Mitsui asked.

"There must be someone who does!"

Kogure thought for a moment, but gave up "I don't know, he never mentioned anything about them or…I don't know! What are we suppose to do?!" he started to feel panicked as the realization of exactly what's happening started to set in "How are we suppose to deal with this?!"

"Stop!" Akagi held up a hand "Don't panic okay? That's the last thing that would help" He took a deep breath, and tried to sound in control, like the captain they've all grown used to see him as "The first thing we do is find out Rukawa's condition…which means we're…just gonna have to wait"

"Oh my God…" Mitsui collapsed on the bench beside the still-stricken Sakuragi "Waiting…" He buried his face in his hands "I hate having to sit around and…not knowing what the hell is gonna happen…"

"Maybe we could…call more people?" Kogure suggested hesitantly.

"Like who?"

"Umm…Ayako? And Ryota…?"

"But…why? How's it gonna help? Wouldn't we just worry them…?"

"I don't know!" Kogure was getting beyond frustrated "I just think they should know what was going on, they'll have to find out anyway…and…oh I don't know, I just think it'd be easier on the rest of us if there were more people here; maybe they'd know some way to contact Rukawa's parents or something…"

"This may be a good idea" Akagi mulled.

"Then we should call Anzai-Sensei" Mitsui said "We really need an adult here…"

"Okay" Akagi nodded "Kogure, you contact Miyagi and Ayako, Mitsui, you call Anzai-Sensei, and I'll stay here with Sakuragi…"

The two boys immediately acted upon those instructions, almost relieved just to have something to do, and to have someone to seek help from, regardless of how helpful they may be.

Akagi sat down on the bench, and looked at Sakuragi, he didn't know whether or not he should say anything for the boy looked so tensed up he was scared any little thing could cause him to snap again.

The only thing left for him to do was to wait.

_                              *                                  *                                  *_

_I'll do anything…_

_Just don't let him die…_

_Whatever it takes…_

_I'll do it…_

_Whatever the price…_

_I'll pay it…_

_I won't fight with him anymore…_

_I'll let him win…_

_I'll stop picking on anything and everything he does…_

_I'll do anything it takes…_

_Just don't let him die…_

_Why…_

_I never really hated him…_

_I never wanted anything to happen to him…_

_Nothing is significant now…_

_Don't let him die…_

_I'll do anything…_

_Just don't let him die…_

_*****_

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_***_

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**A/N: **Serious writer's block, hence all the internal monologue. Ugh. 

I'm thinking of incorporating some MitKo-ness into this fic, you know that may be feasible?

Next update…will happen eventually…^^;;;;;


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